Today its time to talk about negative self-talk, about some things that didn’t work, about obstacles in the way, about set-backs.
I won’t discuss why some things seem to be harder than others. You already know that I will ask you to look at the HOW? you did it.
I is true: sometimes there are „real“ obstacles in the way – for example there are some mountains waiting to be crossed and it is not the mountain that makes the way difficult.
Me, I love hiking and climbing mountains, and I do it quite often. So I’m well prepared, in good shape and have the proper equipment to do it. To me its fun! And I’m always in a very good mood, when I do it.
This is just a mountain. Fact is, in most people’s life there comes a time, and for some quite often, where they think something to be, were they believe and perceive a task to be hard, sometimes even insurmountable or overwhelming.
There are two common ways to do this: negative self-talk and negative images. The images, we’ll leave alone today – we come back to them at a later date.
Some people think you are crazy, if you talk to yourself.
I say: while people are so different, there are some common principles we all operate on. Like: we all breath air. One of these principles is: human beings think in words/text or images. Then after the hearing the words, seeing the images, they start to feel something. If the text is bad, they feel bad.
So simple? Yes, very simple.
What we are going to do now is: I take you through an experience, you had, where you wanted to accomplish a task and found the experience trying and were not satisfied with the whole process. Be easy with yourself.
Let’s have a closer look at it. We start out assuming that you do self-talk, whether you call it self-talk, inner dialogue, internal discourse or just words in my head.
Focus on what you hear, when you shift your attention to a certain situation, a certain task.
Now, for you to benefit most from this exercise, changing your negative self-talk, pick something you want to do and don’t do or don’t do as regularly as you want to. For some this will be exercising, making good food choices, writing an article, filing, … You decide.
When you have chosen a situation, a task, you used to view as difficult and demanding, look at it for the last time this way. To be precise, I’d like you to listen to yourself. What did you hear?
From my extensive experience in working with people, I suggest that you listen for music, noises … and voices.
Maybe you hear somebody talking to you, maybe you hear your own voice.
Take your time and listen carefully. Where does the voice come from? Is it low or loud? Is the voice talking to you in a friendly, supportive way?
My guess is: if you chose a task, that wasn’t always easy for you to accomplish, the voice was rather a nagging, criticizing one, maybe even really unfriendly and very authoritative.
Forget the content of what you hear, just focus on HOW the voice talks. You register everything that’s essential for you.
And now you start to make changes to your negative self-talk. You change the location, the voice came from, if it was talking to you from behind, bring it up front. Everything is possible for you. Just keep making adjustments, if the voice, or any noise was loud, turn the volume down.
You are doing this inside your own head, so you can do whatever you want.
Work with the timbre of the voice, give it a sexy undertone. You can even use the voice of a cartoon hero or an actor, an actress you like to hear.
Did you notice it, yet?
You do feel differently.
Scientists discovered that you give yourself roughly 50.000 messages a day with your self-talk. And the greatest part of it is repetitive.
Of course it is a wonderful idea to say nice things to yourself, like: I’m capable of doing everything, I set my mind to. Whatever task I set for myself, I always accomplish it. I am a great person. I am always successful. The more often you do so, the better for you, I’m with you on that one.
What you learned today is: when you change the way you talk to yourself, you have changed the way you feel about things. Did you notice that those images you had have changed, too? They do that automatically.
I don’t want you to believe me what I say and write. I want you to go and do this, change your self-talk and discover for yourself, how much easier things become for you, how much faster you accomplish tasks in an easy, even fun way. Faster, easier and funnier than you could have imagined in your wildest dreams.
Now I don’t have to tell you: the more you practice, the faster you improve. This is about you making the decision to treat yourself well, to be your own best friend.
Its cool, you realize that you are the one person in the world, you spend the most time with. Its you are talking to the most, its you are listening to most. That’s why this simple alteration has such a strong positive impact on your life.
Can you apply this change your self-talk to any situation, experience, memory? Yes. Just do it. What you guarantee for yourself, when you change your negative self-talk into a positive, supportive self-talk, is that you feel better right now, in this moment. And the better you feel, the better the decisions you make.
The better your decisions, the more options you recognize.
And there you go that’s the way to go: Since you are an enthusiastic supporter of yourself, you are living the wonderful way, being emotionally successful.
For reading more about me: click here!